I will spend my day in bed and cry.. and that is alright.

Xox

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When Reducing Meds

Messily put-together-tips from personal experience on what to do during a reduction of medication.

When decreasing any amount of psychological medication, it is really important to rememeber you are not going to feel well for a while. It could be several months depending on how much reduction you need. It is important to talk to your loved ones to let them know you may seem “off” for a little while and maybe ask them to keep an eye on you incase widthdrawl symptoms get worse. You may feel more depressed, anxious, fidgety, irritable, impulsive, tired, emotional. You will most likely feel much worse before you feel better.
It is also okay to decide to go back on the medication/increase if you need to.

Practicing a lot of self care and positive self talk is essential. Having patience with yourself and being as self aware as possible when a symptom does arise is also great to help you through it. Name the emotion and where you feel it in your body. ex: “I am feeling very irritable right now. I feel a tightness in my chest, throat, and a dull ache in my forehead.This is most likely due to my medication reduction. I am going to take a nice, hot, relaxating shower to make myself feel better.”

If you end up losing your temper and snapping at someone, try your best to apologize immediately and recognize it is not their fault you are experiencing this. Recognize the emotions and thoughts you are feeling and seperate the feelings from the facts and use i statements. “John didn’t get me a glass of water, he’s a jerk (not fact).”is not helpful to you or him. Try: “John did not get me a glass of water(fact). I feel upset (fact)because it makes me feel like I am not important.”(is that true? That you’re not important just because john didnt get you a glass of water? No, it isnt and you can talk to John about how you’re feeling) Much easier to solve the issues with a partner if youre not just blaming them when you’re angry. Try sticking to “I feel… when you…because.. what i would like is…” instead of “you big jerk, you suck.” Lol

Practice more self care and maybe some mindfulness practices and meditation. Mindful eating, mindful walking, body scan meditation, etc.

Remember it is temporary and you will eventually feel better again.
And if you need to, you can always go back on them if it gets too difficult.

Despair/Self Care when stuck

‘I Sleep just to die a little
Only to awake in nightmares
Just to fight to stay alive.’

Sometimes there’s no escape
From the exhaustion of your own toxic mind. Being awake feels unsafe, but sleeping reveals unconscious horrors.

All that’s left to do is to make the choice to despair and self sabotage or try your hardest to
accept, distract ,and practice self compassion . You can also make the choice to bounce between the two – and hopefully, with some time and patience, new feelings, thoughts , and clarity will arise in you to come rescue you from your own shadow.
You will make it through this.

On Worry and Stress

 Today I am late. for work. I also just missed a bus connection. The physiological stress symptoms such as faster heart rate would help if I was in a rush to get anywhere specific, but I’m already at the bus stop I need. I once read a quote, “Worrying does not stop the bad things from happening, but it can stop you from enjoying the good.” And The Dalai lama once said
“If a problem can be solved, no need to worry about it. If a problem cannot be solved what is the use of worrying ?” I have been late before. I know by experience, I may be scolded, but I will not be fired. I’ve also shown up late for doctor appointments and know that I will still be seen, but may have a longer wait, or will need to rebook. Life happens. Things will be resolved.
All I can do is sit with the discomfort and ruminate over how it will look for me when I arrive with a negative perspective, or I can spend that energy being productive by enjoying my surroundings (I got to see a beautiful sunrise, went to McDonald’s for breakfast while I waited for the next bus, and even went to the bank) I also called my boss to tell him where I was, and already had a plan for him for how I could make up for the loss time.

The more we can see that we will be alright in the end and can handle different kinds of stressful situations, the more we can rewire those “neuro pathways in the mind “ that help us to cope much easier in the future . Those 10/10 days where you hyperventilate , ruminate and want to cry will slowly turn into mild anxiousness, deep breathing , and planning next steps /problem solve.

Believe in your Goodness

Lets acknowledges how difficult it is for many of us to believe in our goodness. We more easily take our worst fears and thoughts to be who we are, the unacknowledged traits called our “shadow”. “Curiously, people resist the noble aspects of their shadow more strenuously than they hide the dark sides. . . . It is more disrupting to find that you have a profound nobility of character than to find out you are a bum.” *****
Our belief in a limited and impoverished identity is such a strong habit that without it we are afraid we wouldn’t know how to be. If we fully acknowledged our dignity, it could lead to radical life changes. It could ask something huge of us. And yet some part of us knows that the frightened and damaged self is not who we are. Each of us needs to find our way to be whole and free
-Jack Kornfield