Good Vs Bad Listening


Good Listeners

  • Open, engaging, more verbal- makes a point of it.
  • Really/Very present, nurturing
  • equal time to talk, everyone is heard
  • sincere
  • non judgemental

Bad listeners

  • hidden agenda
  • aggression
  • separate
  • narcissistic
  • lie
  • dishonest
  • waiting for their turn to talk
  • stage hogging
  • too much silence
  • lack of eye contact
  • doing tasks while someone is talking/distracted

Active listening:


  • in the moment
  • engage
  • reflecting ‘ hearing you- thinking about what u are saying’
  • pick up what is important
  • digesting the convo
  • empathy
  • asking questions
  • paraphrasing
  • comments, head nods
  • eye contact
  • Door openers – please go on
  • minimal encourages -mmhmm, ohh i see
  • open ended questions
  • attentive, silence, reflecting back

What not to do:

  • don’t discourage
  • deny
  • minimalize
  • argue
  • give advice
  • yawn
  • do a task
  • jump to conclusions
  • don’t door close, ‘what a sore puss’ ‘just get over it’



Reference: OTMH Outpatients, Oakville ON



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