Instead of seeing and acknowledging the many different factors that contribute to a given negative situation, personalization means we take on more than the required amount of responsibility and ownership than we have to or should. It is when we hold ourselves responsible for something that is out of our control. This leads to feelings of shame, guilt and inadequacy which is unhealthy.
Personalization means distortion.
Commit these Rules to Memory
Do not personalize/take to heart other people’s negative behaviour.
We are not responsible for other people’s escalating behaviour.
Just because we may feel uncomfortable, doesn’t mean we cause it.
We are not a bank.
We are not a taxi.
We are not a servant.
We are not a sounding board.
We are responsible for are our own thoughts, feelings, and actions
We take on their moods..
We take on their failure.
We take on their bad behaviours.
We take on their opinions of us.
We take on their beliefs.
Somehow, or at times, we feel powerless to their impact or their infiltration of our emotional boundaries. They get in our head. They take up rented space. Evict them.